This is for my grandkids.

this is coach hector and my boy kdeems is on the right… we look like trash because we just finished another one of coach hector’s crazy workouts.

some context—this winter break kdeems wanted to learn how to box, and i wanted to get back into it after boxing on and off for the past year and a half. so we found a gym and hired coach hector as our trainer, and in the process, i’ve become quite fond of this little gym and coach hector. until last tuesday, pretty much every day (when we were home) we’d make the journey to watts to the broadway boxing gym to basically slay ourselves for a couple of hours and learn the sweet science of boxing in the process. boxing is one of the most physically demanding sports out there, and to prep us for the rigors of the ring, coach hector destroyed us every time we stepped foot into the gym.

in the past month i’ve learned a lot in this gym, not just about boxing, but about life in general.

coach hector is really quite a character. my fondest memory of him was when kdeems and i were grunting out a set of sit-ups he started nonchalantly talking to us about girls and his love life. in between gasps for air and grunts of pain we’d try to be polite and smile but honestly the last thing i wanted to hear at that moment was his complaining about all the hot mamacitas hitting on him.

on our last day at the gym we finally got to know coach hector a little bit. our previous interactions were pretty terse—they usually consisted of coach hector ordering us to do something and kdeems and i looking at each other and shaking our heads in anticipation of the upcoming pain. i’ll never forget these words coach hector said as he began to open up to us.

“my current health condition is poor, and i’m not gonna live too much longer.”

he didn’t mention what was ailing him, and out of respect to his privacy, i didn’t ask. after he said this, however, i noticed his upper arm covered in bruises. i was shocked because he was so young, maybe in his thirties. i assumed him to be in good health because he was a boxing trainer, and i remember a million things running through my mind at that moment. i didn’t know how to respond, and i didn’t want to offend the man. i remember feeling really saddened by what he just said. i had never met anyone who knew they were close to dying before. before i could reply coach hector smiled and said, “but it’s okay, you just make the most of each day you have.”

thinking back, i realize that i’ve never ever heard coach hector say a single negative thing about anyone or anything in general. he was always smiling when we saw him, and he always took the time to ask us how we were doing, and tried to get to know us by asking us questions about our lives (at the worst possible times… usually when we were in the middle of a workout, horribly out of breath). we spent a lot of time together this break, about four hours a day and usually around 3-5 days a week. i remember him always being cheerful and upbeat, and he never seemed to feel sorry for himself. i thought it was incredible that someone that young who knew his time was limited could be this positive about it.

coach hector never mentioned having any regrets, even though he was single and didn’t have kids, and might never have them. i remember him coyly stating, “i never fall for the trap women set for me… i’m gonna wait for the right one before i marry her.” he never complained about money (his job as a boxing trainer couldn’t have made him that much money, since kdeems and i paid $65 apiece for the month, and he didn’t seem to be training that many fighters), nor did he seem to care about it (after hearing kdeems and i were college students, he cut his rate from $75 a month to $65). he was at the gym monday through saturday, rain or shine, from 11-8.

the time we spent with coach hector made me realize several important things. no matter what hand God deals you, you roll with the punches and make the best of it. it’s an easy lesson in theory but it’s hard to really do in your own life. coach hector embodies someone who lives with grace and purpose while facing constant adversity. speaking of God, you gotta keep the big man upstairs number one. i remember coach hector asking if we went to church, and repeatedly saying praise Jesus when we said we did lol. on the real though, coach hector emphasized repeatedly that you must keep God number one in your lives, no matter what happens.

you also must do what you love; coach hector dedicated his life to the sport he loved even if it didn’t bring him riches or fame. he taught me that you must do this well, giving your all every day. coach hector could have just as easily taken our money and focused his attention on more talented fighters instead of two clumsy, uncoordinated, and out-of-shape college students. however he always went the distance with us, pushing us to our limits, challenging us to break those limits and then coming back the next day to do it all over again. 

lastly, you gotta leave your mark on this earth somehow. coach hector spent his time mentoring young people, passing on the timeless values that the sport of boxing instills: discipline, mental and physical toughness, perseverance, courage, and dedication. he led by example, and left a positive impact on my life and taught me lessons that i will hopefully keep with me until the day i can pass them on to my grandchildren. thank you coach, and i appreciate everything you’ve done for me during our short time together. you’ve taught me a lot, not just about boxing, but about how to live a simple, yet fulfilling life. 

‘twas a good break. i’m ready to finish up school and for all the crazy adventures life will bring.